Beautifully A.

I had a revelation yesterday as our plane flew into Chicago. ‘Shepherd’ by Amanda Cook started playing on my iPod and I was looking down over Lake Michigan meeting the enormous, glistening skyscrapers and I had a thought that took my breath away. “God wants me.” I started to feel this overpowering feeling of joy and I could not wipe the smile off my face even though I really tried, because people were starting to stare. God wants me. He chose me. He has planned something spectacular for my life. Do you know what the best part is? I have NO IDEA what it is! I am totally and completely clueless as to what God has in store for me and I could not be happier about it. I decided right then, sitting in seat 28C that I would live everyday seeking the Lord. Calling for Him and listening for Him, not the world.   I keep trying to plan out my life. Trying to shove it into a mold that just doesn’t seem to fit. Convincing myself that I should have accomplished certain things or have had

Have you ever arrived late to a party, or anything in general? Not me. I am always either early or just on time. It is physically impossible for me to be late. Well, there is one exception. There is one big party in particular... the dating party . Yeah you heard me. The dating party. It's a thing, I think. Well, I wouldn't know if it was, because I still haven't arrived. I have the directions in my hands. I'm turning left and suddenly making a sharp right, then there's this big scary fork in the road, what's that about? No matter which direction I take I always seem to end up at a dead end. But how? Why? I followed the directions precisely. I took everything in to consideration and I did everything right! I still end up lost. How can this be when my directions were written out perfectly, because they were written by a perfect creator? The Creator. "God's timing is perfect!" I know it is. "You just need to pray about it!" I've pr

Winter is fading, spring is starting to slowly seep in and we can feel it. Thing's are changing. We're changing. I don't know how you feel about the subject, but I'm afraid of change. I am a very precise and analytical person and I prefer things be planned out to the last detail. I don't like to gamble on anything. Change is usually my enemy. I like my routines and I hate when the known gets interrupted by the unknown. Something that's been on my heart lately is this crazy notion that change may not entirely be bad. What if change is actually...good? I know. Bare with me. What if we were the exact same person all through our lives? I don't know about you, but I would probably have a lot more free time because I'd probably have a lot less friends. I wasn't always the incredibly amazing, extraordinarily spectacular, and humble person that I am today. Hopefully we can all agree that we've changed since we were kids. I mean we had to, it would ha

So you've never had a boyfriend? That's okay, neither have I. You've never been on a date? Me either. You've never even been asked out on a date because that would require you to actually talk to a guy? I think we might be the same person. For a long time I struggled with singleness. I thought it was a curse brought on by God because I wasn't doing something right or I wasn't living my life the exact way He wanted me too. All through high school and even into college I felt burdened by singleness and I believed it was all my fault. I would make lists of what I assumed had to be wrong with me. Was it my hair? Was is it my body? Was it my voice? Or even worse, was it internal? Was it my personality? Was it my humor? At least if it was an external issue I could fix my appearance much easier than I could fix my inner self. But I did. I fixed my heart. God created me perfectly. He created me in His own image. He created the universe and all the cosmos and galaxy

Soft breezes on the horizon. They brush against my skin as a feeling comes over me that has been lost.     Summer is nearing. I can hear it in the voices that call as the wind blows through the trees. They are telling a story. The story of new life on the rise.   A sight for sore eyes as the gleam from the white snow turns into the shine of the sun. My eyes can hardly handle. I place my hand above eyes and look around as the scenery changes and extended my palm upward and reach towards the sky as if it would greet me.   The ground makes its long awaited appearance. Life is being restored into this world as new life blooms. The shadows of the once gray sky is leaving and moving onward. Their marked days are gladly over. The songs of the future are sounding across my view and I can feel it in my soul. Sun, shine brighter. Sky, expand wider. I can feel again. I can feel. Leaves grow faster. Grass, grow thicker. I can feel it. Once the winter is dead and gone my life c

I fall to my knees. Shattered like a piece of glass. Oh God, show me. Thoughts running so deep. Within my skin. Help me breath. Oh God, show me. Justice will be served through life. Judge me, make it all alright. Put me on trial, make me see the beauty within me. Cleanse my soul, make me new again. Wash my heart, make me whole. Beam your shine on to me. Help guide me through. Oh God, show me. Justice will be served through life. Judge me, make it all alright. Put me on trial, make me see the beauty within me.